Are You A Giver Or A Taker (Or Both)?
I haven’t seen gurus or moneymaking specialists discuss this topic – being givers and takers. While law of attraction speakers talk about being in alignment with the universe, it’s also very important to point out this matter – developing the right traits.
Beyond the fact that having the right traits can improve us and make us better people, it will also lead us to vibrate positive frequencies, the same frequencies of abundance and prosperity.
Before we suggest what the correct traits are (the same traits that are in alignment with the vibrational law of abundance), let’s see what it means to be a giver and a taker:
Being a taker means to gain as much as you can from others without providing anything back or providing just a little bit back in return. A “taker” personality will usually not give back beyond what is ‘needed’ or necessary (as they perceive what needed is); takers are not known as benevolent people or generous and will tend to have a mindset of ‘what’s in it for me?’ They will be inclined to look for what they can gain from others, sometimes without considering the option of giving something from themselves.
Taking stuff from others varies from physical things, emotional benefits, help and assistance, favors from friends and so on.
On the contrary, to be a taker has a positive side that comes with it – takers feel like they are deserving human beings. However, it also sends the message to your subconscious mind and the universe that you do not have enough sources to give back. It puts you in a position of lack, of scarcity.
Being a giver means to be selfless; givers tend to give all they have, or a lot of what they have (physical things, energy, time) and usually are not willing to take anything back. It is not necessarily true that givers like to help others. While many of them enjoy the good feeling of giving, some of them do it because of low self-esteem and the need to be loved and accepted by the ones they’re giving to.
Most often, givers give a huge part of themselves and it comes on their own expense. They give away their boundaries, so the bucket of energy they hold is becoming empty.
On the flipside, givers also have a positive side – they feel like they have a lot to provide others; it makes them feel good about themselves in the short run, but at the same time, it puts them in a place of feeling undeserving and unworthy. Giving is a fabulous trait that brings blessings and abundance, as long as it is coming from a complete place and it is used in the right dose (not too little and not too much.)
Both givers and takers express those traits in all areas of life – business, friendships, relationships. In business for example, givers will feel bad to charge a high price or they will give a lot more beyond the price they set; takers will be the complete opposite – they will not feel embarrassed to set a high price and often will overcharge so they can squeeze more out of a customer.
In friendships, givers will usually be constant advice dispensers, will tend to offer favors (even when not asked), will agree to do things for their friends, even if they don’t feel like it or when it crosses the line.
Givers will not feel comfortable to say ‘no’ and if they don’t want to do something, they won’t face it with a direct refusal and would rather evade the question or avoid the person asking the favor. Takers will be the ones who demand more and more from their friends, ask for favors often, take things that people do for them for granted, and will not have the curtesy to give back munificently.
The best way is to find a balance between both of those complementary traits. Most people put a major emphasis on one of the two and tend to neglect the other or forget how to balance.
Being a taker or a giver is not a negative thing, as long as it is done with awareness and proportionately.
Both traits have powerful positive sides, which if you use wisely, will get you on the right track to abundance.
The universe responds very well to giving when it comes from a “pure” place and a true willingness to give. When the meaning is there, when there is an honest intention…
The universe also responds well to people who feel like they are worthy, people who are open to receive… people who proudly take opportunities that are occurring – people who put themselves out there and ask for help.
So how can I know how to balance between those two traits
in order to resonate with the vibrations of the abundance?
Given all of this information, have a little “home inspection”: check if you can relate to those traits, see if you feel like more of a giver or a taker; remember times when you only cared about your personal gains; look to your past and see if you tended to give up your boundaries to please others.
If you feel like you are a giver and a taker almost equally, then this is a good sign. Now that you understand what stands behind each of those traits and how you can connect through them to the positive energy of the universe, it will be easy for you to maneuver between them.
A Giver –
- Boundaries – If you tend to identify with having a giving personality, it’s important that you develop boundaries. When you have clear boundaries, nobody can take over you; your bucket won’t get empty so easily; you’ll feel better about yourself knowing you’re doing good to other people on your own terms, without compromising your values, without doing things that don’t sit right, without giving up on yourself and what’s important to you.
- Learn to receive – it’s important that you understand this concept: when you refuse to get help/favors/gifts from others, you are blocking yourself. When other people offer you things, when you get opportunities to gain something, this is the universe’s way of saying – I’m sending you abundance. When you say no to those offers time after time, the messages you are sending to the universe are: I am not deserving, and abundance is not part of my life.
- Ask for help – asking for help doesn’t put you in an inferior place; asking for help is crucial to attracting good things into your life. You can ask for help from your family, friends, the universe, God… put yourself out there, let people know what you’re asking for. It could be anything! You can ask a co-worker to cover your shift, you can ask your sister to watch your kid, it could be a loan from a close friend. It’s important that you develop the skills to ask. Remember the quote from the secret, ‘ask and it is given’? Well, this is what it’s all about. Ask for help, get out of your comfort zone and let others know what you need. When you seek help, you’ll find it. P.S. this practice of asking for help will teach you a lot about who friends are and the people who are not truly there for you (of course you can’t expect everybody to stand by you right away, but you can notice recurrent patters of the ones who care for you and the ones who don’t.)
A Taker –
- Know when to stop – awareness is one of the most important keys when you are facing a change. Be aware of your patterns – your thoughts and behavior. Pay attention if you ask for too much from the same person. Try to map the times you actually gave back, what it was and who it was for. If you recognize that you demand too much or too often, simply put a stop to this and instead, contact the person or people you tend to ask for help and offer your help instead, or even offer to listen to them, offer your attention. Giving is a beautiful trait which resonates with abundance and wealth, so you might want to consider that the next time you’re only taking and sucking people’s energy. 🙂
- Put your energy in a good place – it is not required that you give all you have to everybody in this world – that will make you lose yourself and the energy arsenal you have. Instead, allot your resources to the ones who have “earned” it. Look around you… Give from yourself to the ones who you truly want to help, give to people that inspire you, like life teachers, give to people who evoke emotions in you like kids who are struggling, people with diseases that need help, animals that need to be rescued… give to people who make you feel good like street musicians, your gym trainer, your wife or husband or mom and dad. Give to people who make you smile, give back to those ones who have proven their loyalty to you like close friends or family members.
Giving back should be by all means – money wise, attention, putting your time and energy there.
- Release any expectations – when you give to others, let go of the expectations that in due time, those people will do something for you. Simply give because you choose to, without thinking, ‘What am I going to get out of this?’ Be proud that you have the ability and the will to give. Giving brings giving… like attracts like… when you’re giving to others wholeheartedly with a sincere intention, be sure the universe will give back. You won’t know how it will come or who will provide you this, but it will occur in your life.
If you want to change your results, then you need to start from the root. The results will always remain the same, unless you learn how to shift your subconscious thoughts. Do you want to be successful? Do you want to make more money without struggling?