How The Need To Be Liked By Others Does Just The Opposite
Let’s talk about the giant pink elephant in the room. We all see it, but too embarrassed to mention it – the need to be liked by others.
This need for others to love us is quite annoying. It takes away a lot of resources and energy. Our artificial attempts to wear masks to win a few points in others are quite exhausting.
In college, when my self-esteem wasn’t very high, I desperately needed people to like me.
I tried to be nice even when I didn’t want to, I gave up my principles; I didn’t set boundaries when it was necessary and in general, I pretty much lost myself.
Yes, in the end, I’ve earned the desired goal which was being liked by others. But was it worth it?
Why did it matter to me that others would love me? Why is it important for us to win the sympathy of others, even if we do not know them, and they can have no significant impact on our lives?
Because we are trapped in the eternal faith of lies that passes from generation to generation … because we have been brainwashed into thinking the most distorted thought in the Universe, and it goes like this:
We believe that we can be happy IF others like us
Pathetic, isn’t it? However, that’s what we believe in without even knowing that we believe in it.
I too drifted into this BS thought, until fortunately, I developed self-awareness.
Look, I’m not telling you to be a nasty and repulsive person just to express your authenticity.
If you feel that you are faking niceness only to cover rudeness, then check with yourself why you are an unpleasant person and until you get to the bottom of it, you might want to keep forging.
I’m talking here about abandoning yourself; selling your values for approval, the things that matter to you, your limits, your time, just to earn the affection of other people. But how did you earn it? By cheap manipulations, lies, and lack of authenticity.
So yeah, maybe they bought your game and you managed to get them the ingenue image you invented because that’s what you thought they would love, but did it really make you happier?
On the contrary, it made you even unhappier. Why? Because they now like someone else. They don’t like you. They like the character you chose to play.
And you know what’s the worst?
When you try so hard to put on a mask and fake a person’s image that isn’t you only to impress others, you become disliked by the most important person in the world, YOU.
You put on that mask just to realize in the end that not only it hasn’t made you happier, but you have also ditched yourself and what you stand for.
Look, we live in a society. Yes, we’ll have to fake it sometimes. In some cases, we will have to be unreal to adapt ourselves to the social situation in which we are. You cannot get around that.
Nevertheless, it’s important to notice your motive. There is a big difference between presenting a character solely so that others will think good things about you, and, rarely giving up your authenticity in a specific social situation where it is necessary.
Do you know what I realized during my journey?
Every time I put on a mask, whenever I played a character who was not me, or abandoned my principles just to let someone else approve of me, I was disgusted with myself.
This slowly led to self-loathing. And when I decided to completely let go of the desperate need that others would love me, not only did I get more love, respect, and appreciation than ever, I won myself back! Which is the most important thing in the world.
If you also want to be like me, a recovering people pleaser, I created this special program especially for you.
This meditation will help you release the need to be loved … It will help you regain your self-respect and help you make the strongest shift you can ever do, really love yourself.
It will help you reach the deep understanding that no external source can ever bring you the happiness you so desire. Happiness can originate from the only asset you will ever have – within yourself.
Are you ready to let go of the need for validation, remove negative paradigms and finally become centered, grounded and self-assured? Find out how I did it.