After I released my self-love and acceptance recordings, a lot of listeners asked me this question:
If I genuinely love myself, doesn’t it mean that I also love and accept my flaws? If so, then why do I need to change them?
Ok, so here’s my answer to that:
I know it might be confusing because you’re often told by teachers, including myself, to love who you are no matter what. Yet, at the same time, we encourage you to change your self-sabotaging patterns.
Well, here’s how I see it:
There’s really no difference between accepting your being and feeling the desire to change it. How come?
Self-love is basically a… change.
Love pushes you to change nonstop, to grow, to evolve, to develop yourself as a human, and to discover new things and new ideas.
Love is the biggest force that propels the universe. As part of this process, change is an essential feature.
Love takes us beyond what seems possible inside our mind and empowers us to break down our own walls.
Self Acceptance Enables You To Change
In simple words, loving ourselves and accepting ourselves doesn’t mean that we need to stay as we are.
Loving ourselves means not clinging to the destructive patterns and negative imprints we have within us.
Self-love is about accepting the good aspects of who you are, AS WELL AS the challenging parts. Only acknowledgment and acceptance of your downsides can drive you to work on the areas that prevent you from living the life to the fullest.
Self-love encourages you to change those sabotaging parts of you because you know you deserve better.
Love encourages you to develop your sense of self and be your best version of who you really are, through determination, repetition, and patience.
Self-criticism, anger, and perfectionism do not fall under the category of love.
It’s very common to think that you need to criticize yourself or be hard on yourself in order to change. This assumption is fundamentally wrong. Criticism closes down your motivation, saps your energy, and represses your spirit.
In order to truly change, you need to put aside the munitions you use to attack yourself and communicate with equanimity, patience, and a sense of humor. Knowing yourself by self-exploration is the key to positive change.
As long as you keep learning to know who you are and what drives you to act and think in certain patterns, then you slowly heal the wounded inner self; the result is increasing self-love.
Carl Rogers said, “The curious paradox is that when I accept myself just as I am, then I can change”.
If you want to walk on the path of self-love, then check out one of my favorite recordings.
It has helped thousands of people just like you to clear the negative self-talk of the inner critic and more easily embrace a divine attitude of self-love.