Self-esteem is a huge topic that psychologists find complicated enough that it can’t be reduced to one inclusive definition.
So let’s try to find order on this complex issue.
I want to point out two types of self-esteem. Then you can think about which kind is more prevalent for you.
Here’s a hint: it’s probably type B.
That’s what we’re going to work on together. Then you can try to develop type A.
There are two types of self-esteem that influence your level of self-confidence
Type A: Basic self-esteem. This means that the experience of feeling valuable doesn’t depend on the success or failure you’re facing in your life. It’s more the belief: “I’m just fine being me, and I deserve to be loved no matter what has happened in the past, is happening now, or will happen in the future.”
It’s realizing that you’re valuable and worthy just the way you are, regardless of what you’ve done in your life.
With this kind of self-esteem, you believe that your existence in this world means everything. People with high self-confidence deeply identify with this type of self-esteem. People with low self-esteem mostly don’t hold this view.
Type B: Acquired self-esteem. This type is built up in due time as a result of your successes, achievements, self-development, growing up, and the way you manage yourself in the world and face different challenges and opportunities.
Here’s the important key
People who suffer from low confidence and people who enjoy high confidence both identify with this type.
If you’re struggling to disconnect your achievements from your sense of self-worth, let’s check out these examples:
Consider a baby. Viewed from an achievement-oriented perspective, a baby is pretty much… useless. He or she doesn’t do anything. This baby hasn’t attained impressive accomplishments. But does that mean he or she has no value? That she or he’s not worthy?
Or think about your pet. Your furry family member doesn’t have millions of dollars. And it didn’t go to Harvard. So does that mean your pet’s not deserving of respect? Or love?
Why is it important to distinguish between these two types?
It’s very simple: Because no matter how many failures you’ve experienced, you need to realize that you are valuable. You can start to feel this way.
You can continue to develop and evolve in different areas of your inner and outer life and manifest your talents, but regardless of how much of this you choose to do, as a creature living on this planet, you are valuable.
It’s interesting to observe that many people who have experienced different kinds of success still have low self-confidence because, despite all that they’ve managed to accomplish, their type A self-esteem is weak or doesn’t even exist.
Their low self-confidence can also be related to the negative beliefs they hold, such as: “I must be perfect,” “It’s not good enough,” “I’ll probably fail next time.”
If you now understand the distinction between these two kinds of self-esteem, you can view all your life difficulties from the perspective that everything is okay with you: “I’m just fine as I am now.” And thanks to this mindset, you can better cope with the challenges in your life.
Along the way, you might realize that you might not have learned certain things, and maybe you didn’t develop certain skills, but you also realize that it’s all available to you whenever you choose to move ahead with your personal growth.
What Are Your Subconscious Paradigms
Another crucial aspect is the thoughts and beliefs you possess. People with high self-esteem hold positive and empowering paradigms about themselves and the world, unlike people with low self-esteem.
When you really deeply believe you can do anything you desire when you deeply believe you have potential and capability, the carrier (that is, your self-confidence) will bring out your true abilities and you will succeed more easily.
Your life experiences will be richer, more colorful, and more joyful. Changing limiting beliefs about yourself is completely doable.
Subliminal affirmations are an excellent way of developing type A self-esteem. Here are 4 of my favorite self-esteem recordings:
I invite you to read the affirmations and decide which one works better for you. Of course, you can use all four of them to maximize results and “attack” the weak type A from different angles.