Self confidence has a wide definition and isn’t fully agreed upon among researchers. I’ll provide you the definition I agree with the most: Self confidence is an internal emotional force that enables you to execute your true abilities.
Each and every one of you has plenty of abilities, even if you don’t feel that way. Lacking the feeling or knowledge that you have this inner potential doesn’t mean it doesn’t exist.
In other words, self confidence is a carrier. It’s not a trait or something you’re born with. It’s the executive of your true potential that is within you. Self esteem, on the other hand, is the feeling that you have about your true self. So for instance, if you feel you’re not smart enough, pretty enough, strong enough, your self confidence will take those beliefs you have about yourself and show it.
There is a strong correlation between self esteem and self confidence. I’ll discuss more about self esteem and the beliefs you have about yourselves and the world in my upcoming articles.
Now that we have a general idea of what is self confidence, let’s examine how the lack of it influences your life in different areas:
low self confidence makes it harder for you to express and bring your talents up to the surface. Without confidence, you succeed less because only the top of the iceberg is showing and the rest is hidden. Lack of success makes you have lower confidence and it’s a destructive, negative cycle that needs to be stopped.
Here are a few examples of how low confidence runs your life:
It hurts your ability and willingness to dare and to act. In order to achieve goals, action is required. People with a lack of confidence are deeply trapped by failure, so they don’t even dare approach this task. It’s even worse when they interpret this fear as lack of ability, laziness or passiveness. The truth is that they have what it takes when it comes to potential, but due to their low confidence, no action is taken.
A person with low confidence will avoid trying. It could be anything: applying for a job, hitting on a girl/guy, making new friends, cooking for guests, etc. Even if he/she does apply for a job, it might lead to rejection (even though he\she can be really successful at this) because lack of confidence hurts one’s level of functioning at the most important moments.
People who lack self confidence have difficulties creating harmonic and healthy relationships. While dating, they’re struggling to impress and show their good side and that lowers their chances of getting into a relationship. In the relationship, they tend to get hurt easily, even when their partner has zero intentions of offending them. That over-sensitivity causes unnecessary conflicts.People with low self confidence have trouble enjoying their achievements. They feel like they don’t deserve to feel pleasure because they haven’t done enough to justify it.
There’s a close correlation between low self confidence and perfectionism. A person like that will always seek the perfect thing (which is unachievable.) A person with high self confidence is able to distinguish between principal and secondary and focus on the principal. The result – excellence instead of being stuck.
Lack of motivation – if you don’t believe in yourself and your ability to succeed, the motivation level decreases significantly, because what’s the use of trying if you don’t believe you can get your goals?
Low body image. People with a lack of confidence have a negative body language, even though there isn’t an actual issue with their appearance.
Difficulty to accept the help of others. They feel that the fact they have used others to assist them indicates their own lack of ability. People with high or normal self confidence understand that seeking help doesn’t dishonor their own self respect. The combination of their knowledge and the experience of others enables them to succeed more.
Assertiveness – struggling with developing assertive behavior; they tend to be passive or aggressive. This problem is exacerbated because passive or aggressive people get negative feedback from their environment, and that damages one’s self confidence and self esteem.