What does self-love or self-acceptance mean, exactly? What if you are not happy with your current situation, but you are told by new age books to “just accept yourself”? It’s very confusing because you want to accept who you are, while also changing aspects of yourself.
The way I see it (and the way I see it based on years of research) is that there is no difference between accepting your being and feeling the desire to change it. How come?
Self-love is basically a… change.
Love pushes you to change nonstop, to grow, to evolve, to develop yourself as a human, to discover new things and new ideas. Love is the biggest force – it is the propulsion of the universe, and as is, change is an essential feature.
Love takes us beyond what seems possible inside the mind and drives us to break down our own walls.
In simple words, loving ourselves and accepting ourselves doesn’t mean to stay as we are. Loving ourselves is not keeping the destructive patterns and difficulties we have within us. Self-love is about accepting the good parts in our selves, AS WELL AS the bad parts, because out of acceptance we can grow and prosper.
Love encourages us to self-develop and be our best version of ourselves, achieved by determination, gentleness and patience.
Self-criticism, anger and perfectionism do not fall under the category of love.
It’s very common to think that you need to criticize yourself or be hard on yourself in order to change. This assumption is misguided and unhelpful. Criticism closes, decreases and represses us.
In order to truly change, you need to put aside the munitions and communicate with yourself. Knowing yourself by self exploring is the key for a change.
Once you understand in depth what is conducting you, your heart opens, and love is awakens within your, which softens the self-criticism. As long as you learn to know who you are and what drives you do act and think in certain patterns, then you slowly heal the inner self and the result is increasing self-love.
Let me quote Esther Hicks (The Secret, law of attraction) – “you have to connect to the source. It’s not just loving yourself, it’s loving. You can’t love yourself but hate someone else; that doesn’t work. You’re either in the vibration of love or you are not.”