Become The Person You Want To Be – Your Best Version
If you’re reading this, that probably means that no one had ever taught you how to become the person that you want to be. The same goes for me. So I had to figure it out the hard way.
Boy, did I hate myself! This was before I began my self-development journey to tune into the best version of myself. And at the time, I struggled with low self-esteem issues up until my early 20s. It affected every area of my life – the way I carried myself, the way I talked about myself, the way I was always ready to bend over to please others at the expense of my own needs.
I went around with my shoulders slumped and kept my head down. I didn’t want to cause any trouble. Not me! I was willing to shrink down parts of myself to be under everyone’s radar, and I hated myself for it.
Hanging out with certain friends was particularly tedious. I could never let my hair down and be myself. On many occasions I felt inferior beside other people for no apparent reason.
I spent all my energy trying to please them and live up to their standards, and then I would come back home and overthinking everything and analyze everything that I said and how “I should have said it”.
- Does he like me? Did I compliment him enough?
- Should I have said that? What do they think of me now?
- They were not particularly funny, but maybe I should have been more open and laughed even harder than I did.
Long story short: it was exhausting. I felt lost and empty.
By the time I started my first attempts to figure out the authentic person I wanted to become, I was ready to make a change. I was ready to dump this broken version of that self of mine that was not functioning properly.
It was time to cut off these parts of myself which I hated so much, and become the person that I wanted to be. I couldn’t wait to replace them with my higher self.
With that much enthusiasm and commitment, there was no way I could fail, right?
I had little success at the beginning. As much as I tried to become the best version of myself, I was not able to make that shift and get the healing or improvement that I wanted. Until it hit me: the one thing I had been getting all wrong.
The Fastest Way To Become The Person You Want To Be Is To Love Yourself As You Are.
Radical isn’t it?
If you are going to make a change and get healing, then you must accept your wounds and love yourself unconditionally.
If you want to become the person you want to be, you have to realize that there is nothing about you that deserves to be hated. You were born a divine being, full of life force and life energies.
As an extension of the divine, you are good enough just as you are.
You can’t go from hating a part of you to changing it.
In order to reach your ideal self and become the person you want to be– is to love the parts you currently hate about yourself.
The part of you that falls in love with unavailable people. The part of you that procrastinate until the last minute, the part of you that has financial worries, the part of you that is so afraid to trust other people.
What Is Standing In Your Way From The Person You Want To Be
As you were growing up you adopted funny beliefs about yourself and the world around you, and you made them your own…and the results have not been good.
- Maybe your caregivers imposed their beliefs and ideas on you, and discouraged you from being seen and hear. You learned to be afraid of expressing yourself…so you now move about with a very poor sense of self.
- Maybe people always told you that you had to fit in and stop being weird… so you move about with weak self-esteem and will go to any length to make others like you in order to be part of the group.
- Maybe the preacher told you money is the root of all evil…so try as you might you never seem able to save up enough or make wealth.
And so on, and so forth. You get the point.
If you spend your time disowning yourself, instead of addressing the root causes of your problems you are going to make little progress towards becoming that awesome, powerful person you want to be.
This is because you cannot move from hating a part of you to transform who you are and become the best version of yourself – the person you want to be.
The road to life-changing healing and self-development lies with loving yourself unconditionally. It entails looking at your wounds and flaws to see them for what they are – merely symptoms. You must understand the causes behind them so that you can solve the true problem.
Stop fighting yourself, all those parts you don’t currently appreciate. They are here to show you something, to teach you the underlying patterns of your soul – listen to them, see them. Don’t ignore them or mock them. Instead – thank them, be grateful they’re here to guide you on your journey.
The key to becoming the person you want to be is to love yourself and accept yourself enough to understand the reasons behind your pain so you can heal.
Showing compassion to the parts of yourself you now dislike does not contradict self-growth. IT IS THE ONLY WAY TO GROW AND EVOLVE.
Self-criticism, on the other hand, is the opposite of improvement- it’s going backward. You may be thinking that these undesired parts of yourself impede you to become the person you wish to be.
But it’s the opposite – hating those parts hinders you from aligning with your best version.
Healing is not achieved by inner-criticism, beating yourself up, or being hard on yourself. It is achieved through kindness and understanding.
Becoming the person you want to be is an ongoing process. You can’t really shift years of toxic programming in a snap. It requires constant self-reflection and patience.
When you repeat your old emotional and mental habits in your daily interactions, whether at work or in your personal relationships, just go easy on yourself.
Observe, learn, and improve.
Many times, we may repeat the same unhealthy habit or make the same mistakes over and over again until we learn.
The secret is to “catch” yourself in action. Make the change it WHILE it’s happening.
If you want to re-channel your programming, that’s exactly the time to practice it.
So the next time you’re not taking credit for your work, saying no to an opportunity because you think you’re not good enough for it, dismissing someone’s compliment directed at you, not looking in the eyes of your supervisor, or laughing at someone’s joke about you-
Remind yourself this:
I have the right to be powerful.
I am valuable and there is nothing wrong with admitting it.
It is my right to take up space.
I was not born into this world to feel bad about myself.
I was put in this world to thrive. I deserve it.
The Person You Want To Be Were Born To Shine
I don’t believe we were put in this world to perceive ourselves as small, inadequate, insignificant, or inferior. You have the right to win in life.
There is absolutely nothing wrong with it.
You have the right to feel comfortable in your own skin and be proud of yourself (but not in a narcissistic, self-entitled, lacking empathy way).
You have the right to set big goals and achieve them one after the other. You have the right to be a strong resource to yourself and others.
You may be scared, that if you show the amazing, greatest version of yourself, unstoppable you, then you will lose other’s approval. And deep down, you’re wired this way to ensure your survival.
But see, the irony is that people just LOVE to be around those who are strong and proud of who they are.
Everybody wants to be around people who are their own anchors and the best version of themselves because they make them feel safe and inspired.
They see in them the person they’ve always secretly wanted to become.
So not only you’re losing yourself by dimming your light, but you’re also losing potential, authentic, connections.
To Sum It Up
Bring those hated parts to the light, not to the darkness! Remember, every part of you is divine and therefore worthy of unconditional love.
Once I decided to let go of my self-hate, I was able to entertain better, more empowering ideas about myself. I could entertain ideas like, “Hey, I really am awesome and have something to offer!”.
Previously, my vibration had been too low to receive such ideas because of my self-loathing, and so I struggled.
And yes you might feel a little anxious about letting go and loving yourself at first, but that’s okay!
In the long run though, as your self-love tunes you into higher vibrations and positive beliefs replace the negative ones causing all your problems, you will realize that any initial discomfort is a small price to pay for making life-changing progress.
Want to get rid of your sabotaging beliefs and develop an empowering inner talk? Want to become the confident, self-assured person you’ve always wanted to be?
In this post, I want to share with you how I finally removed the mental and emotional barriers I used to have and embraced healthy paradigms that bring me happiness, success, and overall well-being.