Boy, did I hate myself! This was before I decided to make a change and began my self-development journey.
And at the time, it made a lot of sense too! I struggled with low self-esteem issues up until my early 20s. It affected every area of my life – the way I carried myself, the way I talked about myself, the way I was always ready to bend over to please others at the expense of myself.
I went around with my shoulders slumped and kept my head down. I didn’t want to cause any trouble. Not me! I was willing to let anybody walk all over me, and I hated myself for it.
Hanging out with friends was particularly tedious. I could never let my hair down and be myself. I felt inferior beside other people for no apparent reason.
I spent all my energy trying to please them and live up to their standards, and then I would come back home and analyze everything that I said and how “I should have said it”.
● Does he like me? Did I compliment him enough?
● Should I have said that? What do they think of me now?
● They were not particularly funny, but maybe I should have been more open and laughed even harder than I did.
Long story short: it was exhausting. I lived a tired, scared life.
By the time I started my self-development journey I was ready to make a change. I was ready to dump this self of mine that was not functioning properly.
I was ready to cut off these parts of myself which I hated so much, and couldn’t wait to replace them with my higher self.
With that much enthusiasm and commitment, there was no way I could fail, right?
I had little success at the beginning. As much as I tried, I was not able to make the change and get the healing or improvement that I wanted. Until it hit me: the one thing I had been getting all wrong.
The fastest way to make a change in your life is to love yourself as you are.
Radical isn’t it?
If you are going to make a change and get healing, then you must love your wounds and yourself unconditionally.
How Loving Yourself Leads to Life Changing Healing
If you want to make a change, you have to realize that there is nothing about you that deserves to be hated. You were born a divine being, full of life force and life energies.
You can’t go from hating a part of you to changing it.
In order to reach your higher self level – is to love the parts you currently hate about yourself.
The part of you that falls in love with unavailable people, the part of you that procrastinate until the last minute, the part of you that has financial worries, the part of you that is so anxious to socialize with new people.
As you were growing up you adopted funny beliefs about yourself and the world around you, and you made them your own…and the results have not been good.
● Maybe your caregivers imposed their beliefs and ideas on you, and discouraged you from expressing yourself…so you now move about with a very poor sense of self.
● Maybe people always told you that you had to fit in and stop being weird…so you move about with poor self-esteem and will go to any length to please others and fit in.
● Maybe the preacher told you money is the root of all evil…so try as you might you never seem able to save up enough or make wealth.
And so on, and so forth. You get the point.
If you spend your time hating yourself, instead of addressing the root causes of your problems you are going to make little progress towards making a change.
This is because you cannot move from hating a part of you to changing that part of you.
The road to life changing healing and self-development lies with loving yourself unconditionally, looking at your wounds and flaws to see them for what they are–merely symptoms–and understanding the causes behind them so that you can solve the true problem.
Stop fighting yourself, all those parts you don’t like. They are here to show you something, to teach you the underlying patterns of your soul – listen to them, see them. Don’t hate them. Instead – thank them, be grateful they’re here to guide you on your journey.
The key to making a change is to love yourself and accept yourself enough to understand the reasons behind your pain so you can heal.
Loving the parts of yourself you now hate does not contradict self-improvement. IT IS THE ONLY WAY TO SELF IMPROVEMENT.
Self-criticism, is the opposite of improvement- it’s going backwards.
You may be thinking that these undesired parts of yourself impede you to reach your highest self.
But it’s the opposite – hating those parts hinder you from aligning with your higher self.
Life changing healing is not gotten by inner-criticism, self-hate, beating yourself up, or being hard on yourself. Hating yourself will not help you make a change, it will only lead to avoid your problems and lead you backwards.
To Make a Change You Need to Tune into Higher Vibrations
Another reason why you need to love yourself to get the change you need is that loving yourself tunes you into higher vibrations, and any life-changing shift you desire must stem from a higher vibration state.
Loving those parts of yourself you don’t like will attract the change you need in a way that is seamless, wholesome, and long-lasting. This will be your new, healthy, point of attraction.
Bring those hated parts to the light, not to the darkness! Remember, every part of you is divine and therefore worthy of unconditional love.
Once I understood this fact and decided to let go of my self-hate, I was able to entertain better, more empowering ideas about myself. I could entertain ideas like, “I really am awesome and have something to offer!”.
Previously, my vibration had been too low to receive such ideas because of my self-loathing, and so I struggled.
And yes you might feel a little anxious about letting go and loving yourself at first, but that’s okay!
It was the same for me, because I was so used to resisting and trying to fix myself.
In the long run though, as your self-love tunes you into higher vibrations and positive beliefs replace the negative ones causing all your problems, you will realize that any initial discomfort is a small price to pay for making life-changing progress.