Why Your Negative Emotions Are Your Friends
Let’s explore an interesting way on how to deal with negative emotions. You remember all the warning systems that come with gadgets like your mobile phone, or your car that warn you about dangers like low battery, or no fuel?
Yeah, nobody likes when these signals go off. But we acknowledge that they are there for our own protection because they tell us when something is not right.
Your negative emotions work the same way.
Negative emotions tell you when something within your framework is not quite as it should be. They act as a guidance system, given you by nature, which show you that you are off your path, and that you need to care for yourself.
Paying attention to these emotions actually work to your advantage.
If you have been working hard on your self-healing and find that you STILL feel depressed, anxious, fearful, stressed, on a regular basis for no apparent reason – Most likely, there are other undiscovered layers of negative programming you haven’t revealed yet and that require healing.
Those negative emotions are simply clear, hard-to-miss signs that point out areas in your life that you still need to work on.
Don’t Add New Problems on Top of the Old Ones
But what do we do when these signs show up? How do we deal with these negative emotions? What is our usual response whenever we get stressed, or depressed, or anxious, or fearful?
We ignore these feelings and their causes, that’s what.
Because negative emotions feel extremely unpleasant, many of us rather avoid them and turn to quick fix things. These will give us temporary joy – food, drugs, alcohol, gambling and etc. Instead of facing the real problem head-on.
You may use those escape routes to distract yourself from the REAL issue. However, quick fixes create new problems on the top of the emotional wound you already have.
And what happens is – you deal with the obvious layer that is more apparent to you, and not with the real underlying destructive conditioning.
Would you actively ignore a blinking red light on your dashboard while you were speeding along the highway? Probably not. But that is exactly what ignoring your negative emotions is like.
So the first step in dealing with negative emotions is to stop escaping them and acknowledge their presence.
It Is Not Your Fault
Your eagerness to turn away from your negative emotional responses is not entirely your fault.
Society demands that we do so, and we are all programmed from childhood to comply.
- “Be a man, and stop crying!”
- “Big girls don’t cry; stop being a baby!”
- “Why can’t you smile and be happy like everyone else?”
- “Must you get angry?!”
How many times did you get treated to instructions like these from your caretakers?
For many of us, it did not take long to notice as kids that adults reacted negatively to our negative emotions.
But in order to ensure our survival, keep our parents’ love and approval, we use defense mechanisms that backfire on us later.
We quickly learned to repress those emotions, and today as adults we still push back hard whenever they try to bubble up to the surface.
You learned to frown on these negative feelings as a child. Your developing brain attempted to make sense of your caregiver’s negative response. So the child you were thinking “Mom knows best; if she says it is wrong to feel this way then she must be right”.
It’s time for you to understand that feeling angry, or anxious, or sad, does not mean something is “wrong” with you. These negative feelings are guidance signals telling you hidden truths about your patterns, which are meant to be fully acknowledged and felt.
When you admit their existence and feel these sensations, you can uncover what is really going on underneath. That is the healthiest way to deal with your negative emotions.
Repressing Your Negative Emotions Only Causes Damage in the Long Run
Imagine you mistakenly put your bare palm on a burner while cooking a meal.
Just as looking away and ignoring your burning hand would not make the pain go away and could actually destroy your hand. Treating the symptoms and putting ice on the hand won’t help much either.
You have to LISTEN to the pain in order to address the root cause and take off your hand from the burner.
When your hand is burning, you can’t think, “If I just ignore how I feel, then things will be okay”. OR, “my hand is burning, there must be something really wrong with me”.
Acknowledge Your Feelings
Turning a blind eye to your negative emotions will not make the underlying causes better and could actually make things worse.
You can view your negative emotions like a pain response in your body. It’s a neat system; one that works when you pay attention to the message that your body sends you, no matter how unpleasant.
In the same way, if your negative emotions persist, it is a strong sign that you have not addressed the message which those emotions are trying to convey.
Remember: these emotions — anger, fear, depression, anxiety — are there for your own good. They simply want you to align with your source so that you can once again be on a path of well-being.
Looking the other way, telling yourself “I’m not giving in to my pain”, doesn’t mean you’re dealing with the negative emotions. It simply means you’re abandoning the clues your source is trying to tell you about yourself.
Feeling Good is Our Natural State As Living creatures
We were born into this world complete and whole.
And then negative programming was downloaded into your brain – but this is NOT you.
Your destructive conditioning is like a software bug, and that’s why you feel negative, because this programming CONTRADICTS your natural being. Here I explain exactly how your unconscious controls every result you get in life.
When we experience negative emotions too often than not, it is an indication that we are off the path and something needs to be addressed. When this happens, don’t ignore it. Deal with it.
I know you may be terrified to make things worse if you look inside. Perhaps you’re scared that if you actually acknowledge your anxiety and fear, terrible things will happen. Maybe you’re afraid to fall into an emotional abyss and will never be able to get out.
But it’s not the case. Temporarily, it might feel horrible. But as you observe the signals your mind and body send you, you’ll finally be able to know WHY you feel this way. You will reveal those hidden layers you were oblivious to all this time.
What Should You Do When Negative Emotions Wash Over You
Be Kind to Yourself
First things first, you have to stop dismissing your feelings and stop repressing them. Allow yourself to feel these emotions without judging yourself for having them.
I had a hard time coming to terms with my persistent negative emotions. It was during the early stages of my journey towards self-growth.
Despite all the effort I was putting in, I still found myself depressed and in pain most days. I would often think in frustration, “Ugh, why do I still feel this way?! With all the effort I am putting in, I’m SUPPOSED to feel better!”
I’ve been there. I know how frustrating it can be; but I want to tell you to stop. Right now. Stop judging yourself for feeling. Doing so is the opposite of self-compassion. It actually implies a lot of self-judgment and disappointment.
It also implies that you are not enjoying your journey of personal development. Most likely because you want all your problems gone in a flash, whereas these things take time.
The second thing you can do after you let go of judging yourself is to practice mindfulness and self-observation. This allows you to deal with your negative feelings better and notice the message which they are trying to pass across.
Therefore, observe the emotions and try to identify the issues that are taking you off your natural state.
The third step involves managing the reasons behind the symptoms or negative emotions you are feeling. So, instead of trying to treat your depression, or anxiety, you can ask yourself WHY you feel the way you do.
Like I mentioned earlier, our subconscious mind is conditioned in a certain way. Nothing will change until we replace the old deep-seated beliefs. You can read more about it here.
When you NAME your negative emotions and seek the root cause in this way, you uncover limiting patterns that were cultivated in you long ago as a child.
How I Uncovered My Most Destructive Limiting Beliefs
In my case, I noticed early on in my journey that I had a deep need for people to like me, even if they weren’t my friends.
After I abandoned the idea of trying to repress the feeling (which wasn’t working) and judging myself for it, I decided to investigate its source.
After much self-reflection, I was able to name this need I felt and said it out loud: “I need people’s love to survive”! And that was just one paradigm out of many which I was able to discover because I allowed myself to feel.
How was I able to discover this hidden paradigm?
I went all the way back to my past; that’s how.
I grew up in an environment that was overly controlling. My mom who was a single parent was screaming at me constantly, and I never could tell when, where, or even why, the next outburst was going to come.
I lived in constant insecurity and I learned to bury my needs and feelings in order to protect myself. I was scared to express myself because I could not stand being constantly yelled at.
As a child, when I got yelled at, it was like her love was snatched away from me, and that can be traumatizing for a child to say the least. After all, as a child, you need your parent’s love to ensure your survival.
Unfortunately, I carried into adulthood this constant need for people to like me in order to ensure my survival.
I would never have made this discovery so crucial to my self-growth had I not learned to accept and deal successfully with my negative emotions.
Realizing Your Programming Doesn’t Heal It
And once I cracked this code — WOW! What a relief!
I could have chosen the “easy” way and ignored my feelings and never discovered those paradigms. But that would have hurt me in the long run.
Instead, I chose to go the hard way. I chose to look into the uncomfortable depths of my soul and it was painful to do so, but guess what: it was totally worth it in the end!
You can do the same.
Sure, it will feel uncomfortable for a while but once you are done dealing with the source of those negative emotions they will stop to haunt you. You would have adjusted back onto the path of happiness which is your natural state.
Speaking of which, discovering those paradigms is only the first step, one that helps you understand your motives better. But healing yourself of those paradigms consists of something more.
It was when I decided to heal the negative paradigms I was discovering in myself that I became so interested in subliminal messages. I explored their tremendous power to effect change in the lives of those who listen to them.
Subliminal messages helped me make giant strides in changing my negative paradigms and healing my emotional wounds. And they can do the same for you too.
I’ve dedicated a huge part of my life to spreading the word about the proven, life-changing effects of constantly using this method.
If you are ready to build healthy neural connections, find out how to rid yourself of negative and destructive paradigms.
Along with the need to be mindful of your feelings and constantly strive for self-growth, these tracks are the best thing I can offer you on your journey towards being a better you.