How To Let Go of Your Ex (For Real) – The ‘A-Ha’ Moment
Whether you just broke up or you separated ways a long time ago, you know you need to let go of your ex.
It’s hard though. Almost impossible. You thought this person was the love of your life. But your dreams are now down the drain and you just can’t believe it’s over.
And even though the relationship had ended, the fixation on this person has just started and you just can’t let go of your ex.
You feel like this breakup took a part of your body as if your life will never be the same. Letting go of your ex seems impossible.
Suddenly the songs on the radio get a different meaning and the world looks completely vague. Sort of colorless.
You feel like nothing is worth anything anymore if you are no longer together, and you let yourself sink into deeper hopelessness.
Psychology experts say that letting go of someone is very similar to a grieving process. As mammals and social creatures, we get deeply attached to the person we spent meaningful and intimate time with.
So don’t beat yourself up for not quickly forgetting your ex or cleansing your heart from the shared memories.
It’s absolutely human to dwell in that for a while and to process this change.
But if you have been chasing this person who doesn’t want you for too long, then you might have gotten addicted to the pain of missing your ex. Then, it might be the right time to help yourself to get out of the heartbreak hole.
My Obsession With My Ex
Trust me, I get it. My breakup with the ex was one of the most difficult experiences I had in recent years.
For months after we broke up, my mind didn’t let go and still raced with the same ruminating thoughts that were trying to make sense of what happened.
“If only I would do things differently, then we would still be together” had flashed in my head every second of the day.
The truth is that it was quite exhausting, all this pointless, intruding chatter. Let alone, it made the ex recovery so much harder as it wasn’t supporting my lame attempts to let go make any progress. The incessant “I miss us together” looping wouldn’t stop, and I just let it hijacking my brain.
After a long period of time of thinking compulsively about what my ex and I had … after all the “what if things turned out differently” thoughts and all kinds of imaginary scenarios that ran in my mind, I understood something that helped tremendously to forget about my ex and finally let that love story go.
How a Simple Alternative Concept Has Stopped My Suffering
It finally came to me while I was running on the treadmill at the gym, and I remember that day as if it was yesterday because that realization has started a serious shift in my life.
This epiphany about the ex fundamentally changed my view of this breakup and helped me let go. Not only did my pain almost vanished right away, but the constant wondering about our relationship made me happy rather than sad.
I know that as soon as you read these lines over and over again and fully internalize this A-Ha moment I’m about to share with you, it can create a tremendous relief of your misery as well! (Only if you’re ready to let go of that special ex).
And it goes like this –
I realized that all the longing I felt was not necessarily toward my partner.
I simply missed the feelings this ex sparked in me.
What feelings am I referring to?
Safety, passion, love, stability, caring.
All the time I was suffering, I gave my partner the credit for these feelings, but they actually belong to me!
And the fact that we’re not together anymore, does not mean I cannot feel it again, even now, before I’ve found a new relationship.
And that’s why we’re so devastated and afraid to let go of our exes after a breakup!
Because we believe that as soon as the ex we loved is no longer present in our lives, our feelings disappear along with the termination of the relationship.
We’re convinced that if we move past the ex, we’ll also let go of these awesome feelings and say goodbye to them for good.
But there is no greater mistake than that. Let me explain.
The Truth About The Love We Feel
The relationship your ex and you had together did not create these emotions. They were always there, hidden within us. That someone only revived them.
So as soon as you shatter the false perception that says-
“I can experience love and security only if someone else loves me”, you’ll see what an instant relief you’ll feel.
This is just one limiting belief out of many that keeps us in the circle of pain! These blockages keep us stuck in all life areas – whether it’s refusing to get over your ex, difficulties in finding career or business opportunities. And until we won’t shift our inner talk, we’ll continue to experience the same lessons.
The truth is, we can feel love, protection, security, and happiness on our own. No one else has the sole responsibility for our range of emotions, because this rainbow exists within us.
Instead of giving your ex the power over your feelings, it’s time to reclaim them.
You can experience love, passion, and energy, right now – as a single person!
The “Who Is Going To Want Me” Factor
After the ex is no longer present in your life, you might experience a debilitating sense of anxiety.
You’re terrified that no one will ever love you again and that ex was your savior from a loner wolf type of life.
So that also deepens your attachment to that person and you hang on to the ex in your mind, because if you really let go – then what? Who are you going to be with next?
Use your single time to work on yourself – especially, when it comes to your self-worth.
If you still cling tight to your ex, you might be linking your worth and value with their love, and if they are no longer with you – then that means, in your eyes, you’re worthless.
As you keep dismissing your enoughness as an individual, you’ll continue to give credit for your feelings to someone else and be always afraid that only that ex can make you feel like that.
Let Go Of Your Ex Only When You’re Ready
It’s time for you to live to the fullest now before you have cross paths with your next love. And you can experience all that if you learn to lose the grip and let go of your ex.
It may take time for this new point of view to seep into you.
And until that happens, I invite you to check out these two recordings below. These can help you soothe your broken heart and leave that romantic period behind you- whether you have broken up, separated, or divorced:
Don’t listen to these tracks if you are not willing yet to release attachment to the ex and move on. It’s also not meant for you if you just want to speed up the recovery. See, we must process our pain and negativity this separation caused. There’s no way around it.
The programs are designed for you only if sufficient time has passed since your ex isn’t romantically involved with you. Also, it is for you if you believe you are ready to move forward, let go of the needy cycle, and finally mend the pieces of your soul.