3 Ways To Let Go Of Someone You Love And Move On
You made up your mind: it is time to let go. Whether you’ve got out of a relationship, or have a crush on someone who doesn’t even know you are madly in love with them. The letting go decision has been made and you are ready to move on.
But how to actually loosen the grip when your heart is still clinging to that special someone? Can you just make yourself let go of someone you love? Can you transition from the romantic attachment into accepting reality and be at peace with it? Can you stop missing that person?
Learning To Let Go Of a Relationship
When it comes to moving on from a relationship, you first need to process the breakup properly. When a relationship ends, you can’t just let go like nothing happened.
We, humans, have a wide range of emotions and we get deeply attached to people, especially to that ex-partner that we’ve been with, even if he or she wasn’t healthy for us. If you were in a relationship with a Narcissist, I recommend that you read this article.
The process of letting go of that attachment requires us to go through the initial stage of shock, through grief, then anger, and at last acceptance. Some people can process these steps faster, while others need more time.
If you want to reach the acceptance level faster and as a result, let go, you need to allow yourself to feel the pain. You can’t bypass the pain, you must go through it. This is not a pleasant experience, but it is necessary.
When you do it correctly, you’d be able to let go and move on from this relationship, feeling whole and complete.
As you surrender to the emotional hurt and enable it to wash over you and recognize its presence in your body, you will stop dismissing and denying your feelings and needs.
That practice is actually about showering yourself with self-care because you finally meet your basic human need to grieve, rather than disowning it.
If you give yourself permission to be sad for the loss of the relationship, be sad for all the mutual dreams that will never come true… releasing your ex from your heart will occur on its own.
Letting Go of Someone Who Doesn’t Love You Back
The next tips I will share with you are to use if you are struggling to let go of someone that is emotionally unavailable or simply not interested in you. Or if you love somebody that is in your circle but you don’t really know them. In other words – you fell in love with that person based on imaginary stories you told yourself.
See, many times we create fantasies in our head that have nothing to do with reality. But these stories gained enough momentum until they have become your truth. That fixated story in your head of that someone makes it much harder letting go.
Interrupt The Loop
These repetitive thoughts take a massive real estate in your head and steal the energy that could have been aimed for development and growth.
If you want to let go and move on from an unfulfilled love or someone who’s not available for a committed relationship, you need to cut the neural pathway that perpetuates your obsession with him or her.
Here is how to do it: every time you catch yourself thinking about that someone, command your brain to cut it immediately. Tell yourself: “stop! I am choosing to let go”.
Keep practicing this exercise repetitively and immediately shift your attention to another thought that is not related to that someone you love.
This action, over time, will disrupt the toxic loop and signal to your brain the idea that it is safe for you to let go and continuing living your life without thinking about the relationship.
As you get more persistent and do this every single time, you will notice that you’ll start letting go and move on from this person or relationship.
If that doesn’t work, you can pull out the big guns: it’s time to tell your brain a new story.
This letting go exercise is called ‘reframing’ and it involves creating new associations that will support your goal to break free of that love.
This is the way it works: each time you think about this person (it can happen dozens or a hundred times a day), you need to create a not so very attractive association with them. The goal here is not to think negatively or hate him or her, but to simply letting go.
For example – think of traits that you don’t find attractive. What turns you off about a romantic partner? Is it certain laughter? Lack of intelligence? Shallowness? Sloppiness? Rudeness? Irresponsibility? Selfishness? Unhygienic?
Whatever that is, try to link between these traits to the person that can’t give you the relationship you want. Over time, you will let go and move on and suddenly you’ll notice that you haven’t thought about them the entire day.
Moreover, remind yourself that you deserve more than this. Even if you let go now, you can easily find yourself in the same situation or relationship with someone else.
Why would you waste your precious time over someone who doesn’t want to give you the treatment you deserve? Is that all you are worth? Isn’t it the time to get rid of all the sabotaging patterns that make you chase people who don’t want you?
Moving On And Reclaiming your power
In the previous phase, you focused on expressing your pain (whether it’s through crying, writing, punching bag), but now it’s the time to move on from the relationship and empower yourself.
The next step to letting go is to build a strong foundation. Your entire attention should now be directed to lifting yourself up and boosting your energy, vitality, self-esteem, and happiness. Here are the easiest and most effective ways to do it:
Spend more time with friends
Good friends can help a lot if you want to move on and overcome a relationship. Even if it’s hard for you to express in words what you’re feeling, being around people can help you feel loved, supported, and connected.
Get out of the house
Go for a walk or travel in nature. Even if your heart is screaming to stay in bed and feel sorry for yourself, do yourself a favor and take yourself out. You’d be so glad that you did.
Exercising and body movements are some of the best ways to bring you back on course when you’re trying to let go of someone you loved. In fact, sitting on the couch all day and snacking on ice-cream will just make you be stuck. It might feel amazing at first, but in the long run, this toxic habit is not going to serve you.
Meet new people
This may sound hard for you, but when you introduce yourself to new friendships, you will discover that there are many more people out there that can love you and care for you.
Listen to specific meditations
I’m talking about relaxing meditations that are designed to help to move on from a relationship or let go of someone you love. In addition, breakups can make us feel less worthy, flawed, and ashamed of ourselves.
So you might want to use supporting programs to tap into your center and enhance your self-worth, because no matter what happened – you are lovable, and nothing and no one can take that truth away from you.
My audio library has more than 200 mind-training recordings that address most types of personal development needs. Make sure to check it out here.
Take your time
Don’t ever force yourself to move on. Don’t push yourself to enter the dating world and find a rebound relationship, because that is not what you are really looking for. That’s not the way to let go of someone.
When you’re ready to open your heart again – you will know it. During your journey of letting go, take time for yourself to do the things you like. Engaging in these activities will send the message to your brain and the Universe that your needs matter.
There is one size fit all formula that works for everyone. Letting go and moving on depends on the situation, if you had a relationship, or if it was unfulfilled love, the time you were together and etc.
What most important is to find the way that works best for you. Be compassionate with yourself. Don’t rush yourself to let go of someone you love.
Allow yourself the time and space to cry and let it out and then work on strengthening your self-esteem muscles. When you’re stronger and wiser – you will attract the loving relationship that is right for your true needs.