We live in such a connected world today that it’s sometimes impossible to stop the natural thoughts of comparing ourselves to others.
The advent of social media has made the seamless following of friend’s lives both a blessing and a curse.
Yes, you get to keep in touch with your buddies from junior high and the cool guy you met in your camping trip to India. However, for all of the benefits of the good, some equal dangers are lurking in the background for us to consider.
The Snowball Effect of Comparing Yourself To Others
When the mental switch gets flipped on, and we start comparing ourselves to others, some serious problems can come to the surface.
The process starts out harmless, but very quickly you could be entering some depressing territory.
Let’s take for example that night when you saw a picture of your friend having dinner with her husband. At first glance the smiles look so good, then you see the beautiful background and notice that the hashtag is from the Faena Hotel, the new six-star hotel on Miami Beach.
Wow, that place looks expensive, she lives the good life. Then you think how could they afford those $25 drinks, oh yes, that’s right, her husband just got a huge raise at work, and he makes a fortune each year….ahhh. Must be rough.
I’m not nearly in that same place, you’re mumbling and starting to feel sad inside.
And not only that, she is in great shape doing all of those impossible yoga poses. And I’m struggling to keep myself from eating my nightly dip of Ben and Jerry’s Red Velvet Cake Ice Cream every night. Ahhh….
That train of thought continues to go in circles. Depression has been triggered by looking at some harmless photos. It’s times like these when it’s important to know how to stop comparing yourself to others.
Do not compare yourself to others or question your life while coming from a state a fear – while looking at life through a pessimistic lens. That practice is dangerous.
Enjoy Competing Against Yourself
So why is comparing yourself to others a waste of time? It’s a waste of time and energy because you’re comparing yourself to an idea, to an image that doesn’t exist in reality.
The people you are comparing yourself to are not you. And you are not them. The real comparison needs to be with yourself.
It’s not only the social media’s fault.
Since childhood, parents, teachers and others have conditioned us to compare ourselves to others – “why can’t you get high grades like John?”
It’s very rare to come across someone whose parents made them feel like enough for who they are without implanting the need to compare themselves to others.
You’re not alone. Most of us were raised to do that, including me.
Leveraging Comparisons into Inspiration
Comparing yourself to others doesn’t necessarily have to be bad, it can be good as long as the feelings that are initiated because of it are contained.
A comparison can lead to inspiration. If you are able to keep your comparison to a specific area of your life and not let it explode out into something too general, the comparison mechanism can be quite positive.
If you see Sarah in those LuLu Lemon yoga pants looking fit, perhaps this can be your inspiration. Perhaps today is the day that you say No More!
I will take responsibility for the way that I look and feel. I will map out my daily exercise program and stick to it no matter what. And if I get through the first week, staying on track, maybe I’ll buy those same Lulu Lemon pant, they’re so cute!
We see countless examples of people that have turned around their lives. We have seen Steve Harvey turn himself around from being homeless for three years into a multi-millionaire television celebrity.
That happened after he found out an old friend of his has become a successful comedian. He compared himself to old friend and used it as a growth boost.
Set new expectations that are aligned to the real you. When you exceed your own expectations, you are the best you can be. If you are not comparing your values to an unauthentic one or to someone else that isn’t you, you always can stand up to your own standards.
Discover Powerful Tools for Self Confidence
Getting to the root of the problem is crucial if you want to stop comparing yourself to others.
So what is the driver of those thoughts? What is the real reason why you compare yourself to others?
In my opinion, comparing ourselves to others comes from a place of confusion. When you don’t know who you really are, it’s easy to get lost thinking about who you should be.
You can lose your sense of uniqueness; the part of you that is special and adds to this world.
When you don’t know who you are, automatically, you assume you’re less than others, that you’re not enough. You stop believing in yourself.
Here at vortex-success.com, we specialize in engaging the full power of the subconscious mind. We do it through potent subliminal messaging that effortlessly cleanse your mind of bad habits and unnecessary blockages.
To destroy the pattern of excessively comparing yourself to others forever, explore these special subliminal recordings.
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The life that you have in front of you is not meant to be an imitation of someone else’s life; it is meant for you to walk your own path. You are made to be the artist of your own unique canvas.
So what is the best way to stop comparing yourself to others and create a new story for your life?
It starts with one of the most classic statements in all of history – Know Thyself.
Put on some calm, happy music in the background, grab a comfortable seat, take a deep breath and start listing all of the things that are awesome about you and your life.
What do you have? Who are you helping? What are you doing that makes you happy?
Instead of directing all of your attention to the uniqueness of your bestie that has a Harvard-graduate successful and rich son, search for those things you find in her – in you.
The goal of this list is to recapture the positive feelings and understandings of what you do have and not to dwell on what you don’t have.
You’ll be surprised to discover so much goodness that you simply forget about anything bad.
Reap the Benefits of Daily Gratitude
Do not compare yourself to others when making the list. The goal of the list is to reignite the understanding and positive feelings you have so much of within you, but somewhere along the way – you forgot about it.
It might sound like a cliché, but you have to appreciate what you do have. It’s so much easier to complain about something you don’t have than to be thankful for something you own and that you take for granted.
Talk to a veteran that lost both of his legs and his best friends in Iraq to know what I’m talking about. Get into a habit of writing daily at least one good thing you have in your life each and every day.
Fully Embrace Your Passions
The second stage of getting to know yourself is to demonstrate progress towards your passions.
Make the vow to develop a skill that you love into a higher level of expertise.
To bathe yourself in the warm glow of knowing that your time has been spent moving towards what you do want instead of chaotically thinking about what you don’t have.
Don’t waste your time with weak thoughts. Put your mind to use towards passions. Out of the list you’ve made, pick one subject or talent that you’re good at and that you like, and then relentlessly develop it.
For example, if you’re good at painting – take it to the next level! Your chosen area of focus could be anything – cooking, designing, dancing… think of ways that you can upgrade the natural skill that you own.
Knowing that you’re so damn good at something is a great starting point to let go of comparing yourself to others!
Keep in mind that this process takes time. If you got to know me by now, you know I’m not about instant solutions to profound problems. I’m about permanent change with fully sustainable solutions.
Bring back the focus to your own life
The secret is to focus on yourself. Enjoy the exploration of who you really are.
If you consistently turn your neck looking side to side by comparing yourself to others, how can you look forward? If you do this while you are driving, getting caught up by the distractions in your peripheral vision, you are going to crash your car. Don’t crash your life.
Focus on your own special road. Look at your life clearly from a lens of positive honesty.
Be positive and look on the bright side of things, but be true to yourself if you need to create change in your deficient areas of life.
After this acknowledgment, the next step is to accept responsibility. Know that you are the cause of your life. You are responsible for your life on every level.
I know it’s scary. I get it. But take it with baby steps, there’s no point to rush yourself through it.
Explore where you are today and what has brought you here from positive honesty and then make the promise to yourself to improve that area that realistically needs improving.
Activate the Full Power of Your Subconscious Mind
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You’ll get to the root driver of behaviors and thoughts that are holding your down, and they’ll be easily removed simply through relaxing into some beautiful, tranquil sounds.
Experience a giant leap forward in your strength, power and capability to accomplish anything that you wish.
You’ll naturally see the desire of comparing yourself to others disappear as you practice gratitude routine and bring back the focus to the greatness you have within.