Has anyone ever told you that you’re bossy? Too controlling in your relationship? Maybe your friends have said it jokingly or maybe a not so good friend labeled you a control freak?
In response, you might think “Well, if I want things done the right way, I have to do it myself…. Right?!”
You’re not trying to be obsessive or controlling… but you just can’t help it. In fact, you may not even realize that you’re being controlling.
It’s one thing when your need to micromanage, frustrates a friend or an acquaintance, but when it spills over into your romantic relationship, things can get chaotic and painful.
Control in relationships
When the honeymoon stage of your relationship has come to an end, all of the things you and your significant other ignored for the sake of love begin taking their toll on both of you.
What was once considered unsolicited but helpful advice becomes…
“Stop trying to control me!!!”
Your relationship takes a turn for the worst, not because of something as unforgivable as abuse or infidelity. But because of your incessant need to direct and dictate.
Maybe you think that everyone is wrong about you. Maybe you still can’t see what their problem is, after all, you only want order and perfection.
If you’re still having trouble figuring out whether or not you’re a control freak, here are the tell-tale signs.
Clear signs that you’re a control freak
1. Micromanage everything
2. Feeling insecure when things aren’t done your way
3. Can’t let go and just flow
4. A tendency to get angry and irritated easily
Do any of the signs seem familiar to you? If so don’t stress too much. It’s not all bad!
Actually, once you get through the embarrassment you might be feeling right now, the hardest part is over. The first step in solving a problem is realizing that there is a problem. The second step is understanding it.
So let’s understand why you’re a control freak.
How You Got This Way
1. Lack of trust in people
Many of us have trust issues and they may manifest differently for each of us. Some of us find it difficult to let our guard down and love wholeheartedly. Others may have their lack of trust manifested in the form controlling every situation (whether or not they are directly affected).
Try to understand where your lack of trust in people stems from. Maybe you have unresolved childhood issues, or maybe someone in your past let you down.
Either way, you need to identify where your issues stem from to prevent them from ruining another relationship.
2. Convinced you know best and others are less than you
Are you a know it all? The type of person who asks for other’s input, but only as a formality. After all, you always know what’s best.
While you’re probably right a lot of the time, you’re definitely not right ALL of the time. If this is you, put yourself in your partner’s shoes. Imagine how you would feel if you were in a relationship with a know it all.
Imagine how frustrating conversations would be because your opinions wouldn’t be respected… or when your needs would be ignored. Can you feel the stress? Not so nice huh? In fact, I’m sure that you’re cringing at the thought. (I know I am.)
That being said, if this sounds like you at all, know that you need to adjust to save your relationship.
3. Terrified of failure and things going wrong
Is your ambition affecting your ability to be a team player? You desperately cling to the goal of being successful and you believe that letting go of the reigns will result in everything going awry.
A deep-seated fear of failure could be coming between you and true happiness. In fact, not making efforts to curb your fear of failure will only make your relationship struggle more as time goes by.
4. Too perfectionist – everything must be in order
Are you obsessive about maintaining order? And the moment you’re faced with disorder you lose your cool?
Now don’t get me wrong. I’m all for tidiness and putting my best foot forward. But there’s a huge difference between being neat and taking pride in your work, and bordering on suffering from an obsessive-compulsive disorder.
Learn the difference and learn it quick. Your relationship depends on it.
Instead of focusing on the things that are out of place, make an earnest effort to focus on the good things that your partner brings to the table.
5. Like to be in a powerful position
Do you find yourself gravitating to powerful positions at any given opportunity?
Even if it’s a simple role like secretary of your local book club. You don’t accept these roles because of your long-held secret passion for them. Of course not. It’s because you’ll grab at any opportunity to be in a position of power.
This is usually an indication of insecurity. You need to figure out what is the underlying reason for your insecurity and find ways to work through it.
How control cripples you
Life can be filled with amazing experiences when you learn to roll with the punches. Of course it won’t only be filled with long walks on the beach or candlelit dinners- there’s bound to be a few unforeseen trials. But for the most part, life and its little surprises can be beautiful.
The control freak doesn’t get the opportunity to see or bask in the beauty around them. They’re too busy making sure that everything is in its correct place and maintaining their power, to fully enjoy the pleasures of life or a relationship.
Though it may be difficult to believe, control freaks create the illusion that they have it together. Control freaks are in fact fearful.
You start believing in the illusion that you’ve created. So much so that your fearfulness and apprehension worsen your anxiety and now you really miss out on all the fun.
So at this point, I’m sure you’re wondering…
Is there a way out? A way to become less controlling and truly enjoy your daily routine?
Yes, there is!
Subliminal Meditation- The Solution
What’s that you ask?
This kind of special meditation contains empowering hidden affirmations to deal with controlling behavior.
It taps into your subconscious without the interference of the conscious mind. It rewires your brain circuitry by feeding your mind with healing declarations. You’ll learn to let go, relax and just trust. Even if things don’t turn as you expect -it’s ok.
As you begin to realize that your way isn’t the only way and begin to set aside the belief that “this should be done this way”, you finally begin living your life.
You gradually begin to accept that things won’t always go your way and you’re okay with it. Your grip on your partner begins to loosen and the spark that was once there, returns.
There’s no more name calling and resentment becomes a thing of the past. Your relationship is back on track.
Make the first step towards rebuilding your relationship.
Check out here what many have praised as their relationship/ marriage saver. You and your partner deserve it.